This story is about how my frustrated younger self was determined to introduce Abuela to my new friends only to have things blow up in my face, repeatedly!
As far back as I recall, I was convinced there was a secret phone call going on between God, way up in the clouds above, and my petite, spectacled, Cuban grandmother. I swear she knew everything about everyone and it never ceased to amaze and frighten me! To know that your every move was monitored made stepping out of line unsettling, to say the least. To make matters worse, Abuela had informed me at about seven years old that I would never be able to lie because my face would reveal the truth. The horror! What kind of childhood would I have if my face were scheming to betray me and Abuela was sharing secrets with God?
When my siblings and I were young, my mother moved us a ridiculous number of times. So much so, we became the eternal "new kids" being introduced to a new school and classmates two or three times a week! I was told once that kids are resilient and can bounce back quickly from upheaval with minimal aftershocks. Let me assure you, this is a lie.
I remember one specific afternoon when after school, I was over the moon to have a friend come home with me. I brought my friend into the entrance vestibule where I called out for my grandmother. Down the hall she came, such a powerful force of a woman squeezed into the smallest of bodies. Abuela didn't speak any English and what she did was hilariously bad. My new friend, Cathy, stood there with a smile on her face as I spoke to Abuela and sang Cathy's praises expecting her to love her as much.
“Esta chica es una hipócrita. Ella no es tu amiga y pronto aprenderás por las malas. Ella finge ser tu amiga y te va a traicionar. Verás ”
Let me translate: "This girl is a hypocrite. She is not your friend and you will soon learn the hard way. She is pretending to be your friend and is going to betray you. You'll see."
I was SO mad and embarrassed and Cathy kept asking me, "What is she saying? Can we be friends and go play outside?" Meanwhile, Abuela just walked away without so much as a glance back. I was confused and did I mention, embarrassed? I quickly ushered Cathy outside where we played skipping rope until we both had to return to our respective homes for supper. Once alone with Abuela, I asked her why she felt like this. How could she be so sure of my friend when after so much time alone, I was happy to have a friend at all?
Abuela saw how upset I was and very gently informed me that she could see people's truth. I had no clue of what she spoke about but listened as she continued. She informed me that as "her" child, I too would be able to know many things about people without really knowing them at all. My little mind was fascinated, then again, everything about my dear Abuela was riveting to me, and this newfound information resonated with me.
As she spoke, my synapses starting making connections. I hadn't told her that years prior while walking to school, voices would tell me which way to go or how fast to walk. I never shared how, when my parents had their cocktail parties, my smaller self would walk in between their guests’ legs, looking up at all their faces and knowing what words would tumble out of their mouths before they spoke them aloud. In fact, I had made it a game that would make me feel like a superhero. I could feel plants cry when they weren't watered and pets suffer when they didn't have the care and attention they needed. Reminiscing, it was magic to hear her speak about things that had up to that point, been very odd. And as I grew, so did my awareness of these gifts.
Being someone who despite her milestones has suffered from imposter syndrome, I can honestly say I'm the last person in the world I thought would come to have these types of gifts. Surely there was someone who looked like an angel and was equally as graceful out there, who never got angry or had bad hair days, who had the perfect life and lipstick that never smudged on her teeth who deserved these gifts instead? But I have them, have grown to accept them, and use them with tremendous care.
There is great accountability and responsibility when helping others and I take what I do seriously. My goal is to help others live BOLDLY and to never settle for anything less than what they deserve.
As for my friend, Cathy? Well, we shared a few more skipping rope moments and fun tales of boys in our class, but she went away to another group of more popular girls, and I believe we moved out of town after that. It never bothered me. This experience repeated itself a few more times and eventually, I was able to learn discernment and listen to intuition. Nowadays, I have a calm existence. The people who matter are still in my life despite the many address books I've ruined for them over the years. I am so blessed.
Deborah Ledon is a spiritual advisor, energy worker, an award-winning entertainer, songwriter, teacher, and speaker. Her extraordinary journey has been filled with passion, faith, painful endings, madness, and forgiveness. This is her story of taking chances, breaking free of familial expectations—and those we set for ourselves—of breaking the mold and learning to take the high road, despite the monsters along the way. #thepositivetransformationcoach #intuitivehealer #positivetransformation #energyworker #lightworker #empath #intuitivecoach
Gal pal writer, music connoisseur, social media expert, and brilliant babe, Christine Bode edited this article while looking for things others cannot see. Read more on Christine here: Bodacious Copy